Now that Conservative MP'S have given Mr Howard the swiftest of blows to the goolies, will someone please get on and lead the troops out onto the pitch and get this sad and thoroughly un-interesting durge over with before I chew my own arm off.
While I am about it, may I remind everyone that the job vacancy is for a LEADER of the Opposition. For the avoidance of doubt, a leader is someone who "induces action by a group through their own persuasion and example; someone who directs actions and opinions".
The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision and it's got to be a vision you articulate clearly and forcefully on every occasion. Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish. " - Proverbs 29:18
"Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together. " - Jesse Jackson
"The task of the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not been. " - Henry Kissinger.
Heaven knows I could go on forever with inspiring thoughts about leadership, but all I really want is for someone of good Conservative stock to demonstrate it.
Please, aspiring candidates, before you leap into the fray, stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and ask yourself if you are a leader or an ego.
Mr Howard, thank you kindly for holding the fort, but it is time to go. I am desperately sad that you have undone such great work during your time in charge, by your ludicrous post election judgement. You are now, however, humiliating yourself, your party and your supporters and it is not appreciated.
Bring it on!