You may be wondering where I have been and what can possibly have prompted my return.
Big Brother, the World Cup, our failing government? Well, to be fair they will all get their moment of attention in the coming days and weeks, but no it is this little ditty on the BBC news tonight that has really got me riled.
Farmers all across the land are facing bankruptcy because the Government's new Rural Payments Agency can't organise a piss up in a brewery. Now we discover why payments are a year behind schedule. Instead of working night and day to pay farmers, they are all following the new Prescott codes of office conduct and have in fact actually been trying to organise a piss up in brewery and prove us all wrong.
This Government hates the countryside and its occupants and they should hate it back. But don't worry, the woman who designed this fiasco is now designing our exit strategy from Iraq.
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